What revels are in hand? Is there no play, to ease the anguish of a torturing hour?

I've never quite understood the affairs of the heart. Whenever I think about love, I don't usually look upon it as a fairytale. I interpret my own longings as chance encounters with minds similar to my own which just seem to create a spark.

With the right amount of kindling, that spark can emerge into a raging fire. With the right conditions, this fire can be controlled and remain a source of comfort and warmth to those around it. However, if the wind picks up and blows slightly in the wrong direction, that fire can burn out of control and become a danger to everyone in the surrounding area.

Unfortunately, recent gale force winds have wreaked havoc and ignited something that has cost myself and those whom I love with all my heart a great deal of emotional suffering...both in SL and RL. And of course, it was unexpected...most natural disasters are. I just hope that once the wind dies down and the last burning embers are extinguished, the damage they have caused will not have long lasting effects.

The hardest part of this whole thing has been waiting for the final outcome. The last ditch effort to rein in what has burned out of control. The sadness and loneliness of the unknown. It is natural to want answers...to want closure so as to begin the healing process. And when time keeps passing minute by minute with limited information, one may find themselves jumping to conclusions too quickly, worrying that there could/should be something...anything...that they can do, but lack the control to do so.

This was the biggest battle through the last few weeks...wanting so badly for the smoke to clear, or a brief moment where I could take control of the situation and change the course of fate. However, fate is a fickle bitch (pardon my French) and she does not always work in one's favor. In my case, too much time had passed and before I realized it, I was unable to prevent what I feared the most...assuming I could have prevented it at all. In the end, I did receive the answers I needed...just not the ones I so desperately wanted to hear.

However, much to my surprise, I've come out of this with only minor burns...at least I think I have. Time will tell I suppose. The fire is slowly becoming contained, and while the damage is extensive, I think in time it will only leave the faintest of scars for all who have been exposed to it. That is my hope anyway...to move on with my head held high and with hope for better days to come. And my scars will remain a constant reminder...not of the suffering and heartache I endured, but of the fact that I survived.


**I do apologize for the prosaic metaphor that I use in this post. But, as most of my SL friends are Aussie, I can't help but find certain minute similarities to the wildfires that have burned out of control in Southeastern Australia. This event has weighed heavily on my mind as well these past few weeks. My heart goes out to the countless victims who have suffered and to friends who have lost someone through this tragedy. In no way is this post intended to diminish their anguish over lost loved ones. So if I have offended anyone, please accept my apology.